About grieving and bereavement

Bereavement is something that most people experience during their lives.  When someone close to us dies, it is normal to grieve.  Grief can be devastating, giving rise to feelings you did not expect and can affect all aspects of your life at home and work, and your relationships with family and friends.

We all react to bereavement in different ways but you may find it helpful to have some information about the effects of bereavement that many people experience.

At first you may feel frozen, even oddly calm and able to keep busy.  Later, as reality sets in, you may swing to and fro between belief and disbelief.  You may experience uncontrollable and unexpected emotions which in fact are very common reactions following a bereavement.

You may feel desperate and depressed, have no sense of purpose or interest in life or feel you are ‘going mad’.  Perhaps you feel guilty about things you did or didn’t do when the person was alive.  You may experience overwhelming feelings of anger at anyone or everyone including the dead person.

So you need to take special care of yourself at this time, allow others to support you and, where possible, postpone making big decisions.

Over a period of time lighter moments will begin to intervene.  Besides feeling sad, the good moments get better and more frequent, and you no longer think about the dead person all the time. 

In bereavement, many people find that they already have as much support in their lives as they need from family, friends and neighbours.  However, some people may prefer to speak to someone from a professional organisation, like Kingston Bereavement Service, which is there to help them.

Bereavement Counselling

Bereavement counselling can enable you to accept that someone important in your life has died and to explore the confusion of feelings that you may experience after the death.  This can take place in a safe and confidential environment, with a trained counsellor who has the skills and experience to support you through the emotions and adjustments that you inevitably face at such a time. 

Some people may want to receive help a few months after the death, while for others it is later that they realise they have issues they would like to discuss.  Whilst sometimes difficult and challenging, bereavement counselling can be immensely rewarding. Counselling usually takes place each week at a regular time for an hour and the sessions continue until a mutually agreed ending seems appropriate.